hey guys. NEW XANGA.

www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=xNEEkSx

quote: "When one door closes, a window will open." (i thought it was another door, but whaver.)

mood: bored.

okay folks. i am officially making a new xanga. i'm not gonna delete anything form here, in case yall wanna read my poetry or youre bored or whatever. or maybe you just like my banner. haha. whatever though. so until i start up my new xanga...

SEE YOU LATER, DUDES.

quote: "Oh bother, you never can tell with bees."
-Winnie the Pooh

mood: bored.

dang dude. i'm hella full, but i'm still eating my food that i got from L&L Hawaiian BBQ. it's good, but i'm getting oh-so-fat. haha. it's true.

i wrote a poem just now. i dont think it's that good, but i want to hear, i guess i should say read some feedback. kapeesh?

it's called LiKE ME.

i am that person you feared all your life
you thought it'd be so cool to meet someone like me
but you'd be too scared of the consequences,
of having a friend like me
you didnt want to see,
how my blunt attitude would be
you didnt want to hear,
my open-minded thoughts
you couldn't wait,
to have that deep talk youve been waiting for
all your life
you were so excited,
to hear what i had to say about what your crush said
you were so shocked,
due to the density and intensity of my thoughts
you were so anxious,
to hear me affirm you
and make you feel special
but you were so half-hearted,
to hear my constructive criticism
you were so irritated,
from the thoughts of my dislikes
you didnt want to deal with,
the truth that i held
cuz i am your hesitant anticipation
your worst dream
the best disaster youve ever experienced
a cursed blessing
i am your strength
and your weakness

ehh, i think i want to add more, but i'm not sure what to add. anyone want to add on? edit? feel free.

ima post up what i'm doing this week up until monday.

WEDNESDAY - t.a 2nd year
THURSDAY - no school!!! go to the movies with adrian and mi hermanas, eat dinner with the mafia
FRiDAY - rally!!! freshmen wear green!! woohoo! praise and worship maybe? sizzlers?
SATURDAY - bell game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nic's party at oakland? drank?
SUNDAY - salt meeting, go shopping?
MONDAY - NiC'S BiRTHDAY!!!!!!! iMA FUCK WiTH HiS LOCKER.

haha. on monday, you guys GOTTA CHECK MY SHiRT OUT. haha. it's gonna be HELLA SiCK. ahahhaha!!!!!

well, i gotta go to church now. peace easy.

God bless.

edit [111104]

haha. des is so funny. there were question marks for a reason. cuz i didnt know if there was gonna be a party. nic said there might be, but we weren't sure. so then, i dont know. but about the drank, that was a joke. gosh, and even if i was gonna drink, i would barely even drink anyways. haha. people are so funny. but yeah, im starting my birthday count already. there's one month and 29 days til my birthday.

ok. i gotta go. i gotta take a shower cuz we're going out to the movies with a bunch of ilyssa's fuckin friends. i dont wanna see them. not today. i'm not in the mood. but yeah. after the movies we might go to the metro mall. i need to buy two books, yes because i like to read.

ok. this fat ass is buggin me and everything is fuckin bothering me so i gotta go now.

quote: "it's all bush's fault."

mood: bored out of my mind.

dang. i aint got shit to do. i woke up around 2 cuz i didnt want my ateh to yell at me anymore. waking up seemed pointless though, cuz all i did was cook and eat. now i'm just here, waiting for kuya to come over so we can start our meeting. which reminds me....

ATTENTiON, ATTENTiON....LADiES AND GENTLEMEN, i am leading the next youth group meeting on SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2004. WHiCH iS.....TOMORROW!!! YOU GUYS BETTER GO. it will really strengthen your faith, but you can't know the topic unless you go to the meeting. how about, if the meeting doesn't strengthen your faith, i'll give you 5 dollars. seriously.

corned beef tastes funny if i dont make it with tomatoes.

haha, i think it's true that i'm hella random. well, maybe to you all, but to me, it all connects and fits together perfectly.

i just heard the r. kelly was acting like a bitch and he got kicked off the jay-z tour before they got to the bay area. damn. that sucks. i love his songs and his style of music, regardless of his perverse mind. damn, it's all bush's fault.

and as for bush...
he is an idiot and i think this country is full of people like him, since you all voted for him. i heard he won mainly cuz of his moral views (abortion, gay marriages, etc.) it was funny, my friend said to me, "you're for kerry?! what kind of christian are you?" this election had nothing to do with my religion. and although i am catholic, i am for gay marriages. whether or not gay people are going to hell or not, they're going to be with their lover regardless. duh. how are people gonna vote for bush because of their moral views? cmon now. right now the main concern is the war. first of all, i dont know how congress allowed this country to go to war. we were in debt to other countries before the war, and i guess they didnt think about it, or they didnt care that we'd be in a bigger debt when we go into the war. secondly, the reason that bush wanted to start this war is just because saddam didnt want to be friends with bush. he didnt want to be friends with bush because he didnt want to do what bush told him to. bush wanted to have main control over the oil lines, but saddam didnt want to give it to him, so bush, being the egocentric bastard that he is, wanted his "revenge" and went to war with iraq. which brings me to my next thought, this country is too conceited. everyone is so arrogant. cuz you guys know how we started off with the 13 colonies right? well, what got us to succeed and turn into a country was our confidence. over the past, how many years our confidence slowly started to turn into pride, which now is our ego. this country is so bigheaded, and what we need is for our balloons to be popped, if you guys remember that little activity from dare. haha. but yeah. i think that bush is giving this country the reality check that is well overdue. no, we aren't close to conquering iraq. no, we're not gonna win in the next year or two. yes, you should all start to become more humble and try to fight for our country to right the wrong. yeah, most of us here in california, or maybe just the bay area may be angry and outraged, but we gotta right the wrong and fix what is messed up. it's our future. it's up to us to lay out our path. if no one is willing to go to war to help out our troops, well, i'll leave it up to your imaginations to think about what will happen.

i gotta take a shower because my ateh is ready to hit me. damn, she's such an angry teen. haha.

peace and God bless

quote: Called you late last night
just to see if you'd answer
to know if  you're alright
I'm trying to show what I feel inside
love I  know no longer can hide

So tonight I sit awake and I try
to count the minutes til the next time that you and I are together

I cannot read your mind
I'm asking you questions, and I wait for replies
If you would say the words I'm wanting you to say
these words will draw us nearer, I'm seeing things clearer
and right now that try as I may to hold you tight
it's gonna be another lonely night

mood: damned.

i dont want to wake up tomorrow. i dont want to wake up forever. i just want to sleep. sleep my troubles away. sleep til i dont remember who she is. sleep til i dont remember anything that has happened throughout the past 3 years. i just want to forget. i want to forget about the pain i've felt, the tears i've cried, the effort i put in, the laughter we've had and the smiles she gave me. i want to forget it all.

"i never really understood why i cut myself or snapped rubberbands. i guess it's because i understand physical pain more than i do emotional. i know what happens if i cut my arm: skin is sliced and i start to bleed. it's like comment sense, right? what i don't see is how carelessness of a person can cause tears unto another. when you never considered what i wanted, i don't know why, but my chest would start to tighten and tears would start to stream down my cheeks. i never found a logical explanation, other than the fact that it hurt me more than the bleeding of my arm."

by: anonymous

"and about the whole 'hurting myself' thing, i wish so much that i could get a piece of glass, slice my skin and let the blood flow. but i'm not going to cuz i love you too much. you know, when i broke my promise, i wrote something on my arm with my pocket knife. you wanna know what? i wrote your name. i wrote it cuz it was a note to myself. it hurt my arm like a bitch. the shit stung, too. it's like the emotional pain you inflict on my heart, only the pocket knife didn't leave a scar deep enough and it didn't hurt as much."

by: anonymous

that's crazy shit dude. it's nuts. and just reading it hurts me. i'd hate to feel that pain.

you know what i hate? i hate it when people try to analyze literature. how the hell are you going to analyze literature? what i find even stupider is when they ask you (i see this often) "What do you think the author was trying to say?" how are you going to ask a question like that? this isn't math or science. you can't determine something and just know it. you can't disect a paragraph. it is different in everyone's eyes. yeah, maybe 2 people will have the same idea, but that isn't often. literature is art. it's a product of imagination, emotion, and creativity. it doesn't have exponents or genes. you can't trace back to one factor or two small cells. it's delicate, intricate, and if you think too hard, you'll ruin it for yourself. it won't make any sense if you think to hard. so just take it in how you see it. to think about another's perspective would be cool, too. but dont, please don't try to think about what the author was thinking, cuz let me tell you something. for some reason, a lot of respected writers are either drug addicts, psychos, depressed, or just weird. all i can think of right now is edgar allan poe. and to me, mark twain was kinda weird cuz he didn't use his real name. hahh, what a character. anyways, what i'm just trying to say is appreciate the art, don't try to interpret it. youre not proffessor xavier, you can't get into the author's mind and find out what he was thinking. you probably wouldn't want to know, cuz if you think about it, most great pieces of work are produced when someone is either delerious beyond recognition or happy to the point that it's scary.

ok. i think i should do my homework now. i have a 5-page essay to do. damn, mr. medrano needs to go to a retirement home or something.

peace and God bless

ps. got any arguement or agreement? drop a line or two.